Hey Fly Friends and Beautiful People — after reading Solange’s letter to her teenage self, which by the way bought me to tears and touched me in ways I’m so glad it did and in some ways I wish it didn’t, inspired me and thought we’d talk about something a little different today and do a half year check-in. You down? Cool.
If you’re a part of my InstaFam
— you know occasionally we have real talks especially with this journey I’ve been on to identify and improve myself. At times, it’s draining and unappealing but, I’ve found the rewards are so much greater than the struggles. It’s the only reason I’ve continued to see it through because trust me, the agony can be so daunting sometimes you literally want to jump out of your own skin. Especially coming from a world that used to be unusually dark in depression, the pain can be vaguely close in range I fear I’m slipping back. But, in reality, its just growing pains.
So, this is me, honoring the space I’m in right now, excited about what’s to come!
I’m also learning, or trying to teach myself to be more okay with the fear of desire. Earlier I said, “Currently residing in this uncomfortable space of self-discovery and growth where the road scares me shitless but after some mental pep-talks and being my own hype man (usually with Solange
playing in the background #TRUEfansinceSolAngel
) it’s most often the route I take and the one I feel best about. Dedicated to the journey of the woman I’m destined to be!” It’s not easy. When I think about taking action on the things I want out of life, I have a sudden urge to upchuck. But, it’s necessary. All of it. The nerves. The fear. The excitement. The passion. All of it is necessary to make the ultimate decision to take action. Action instead of regret.
Meanwhile, I’m trying my hardest to remember to truly love myself from head to soul. Being on social media, sometimes can feel like I’m chasing perfection and/or always trying to keep up. With whom? Whomever is on my feed, whoever’s highlight reel looks most fabulous at the time, who ever is happy and living that grand life. #Distewmuch!
We are hard as heck on ourselves! We have to choose to more be kind. It’s not cocky to say you love yourself or to think you’re dope. What’s wrong with snapping a selfie to remember your great hair day or bomb outfit? (Clearly, I have no shame.) Or not having to think but truly knowing you’re smart or with a heart made of gold. Basically, I’m just trying to remember to let everyone else be them and spend a little more time on genuinely being me. (After this, I’m probably going to put post-it ups in the places I spend the most time around the house, lol)
All in all, my (almost) half year check-in reminded me to intentionally live for me and not to be so afraid to take a leap of faith. Who knows … I may (definitely will) grow. *drops fairy dust*
until next time … stay true.
— details —
top: Target, similar here
shorts: Current Elliot, similar here
boots: Aldo, similar here
duster: Mandees, similar here
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