Hey Beautiful People! We have officially made it through our first week of 2018 and I don’t know about you but, I’m feeling like this year is going to be different. Last year I decided to make untried alternatives a thing in my life to become a better version of my old self, mainly because I needed to. Well, this year the decision making is a choice. I could’ve continued to live as I did last year, receiving the same results or I could decide, as I did, to level up and not only live a better life but, reach for my best! If we can be frank, it’s already off to a good start! Thank you, Jesus … he could’ve really just laughed at my plans, haha.
In 2017, I set a foundation. I did “the work,” pushing myself, setting boundaries for others and understanding my worth. Too bad I thought that’s where it ended. As I look back on the year, I needed so much more. So much more love. *Insert Jay-Z voice, “Love, I don’t get enough of it.” Coming to this realization was hard. Not for the lack of love I have been given however, it’s been hard to admit to the lack of love I have given myself. Here I am telling you all “its a journey” and “love yours,” but I wasn’t practicing as much as I thought I was preaching. I was pouring love everywhere else but, where I needed it the most. Right here with me.
So, before the ball could drop, I got real with myself. I wrote down all of my goals and needs; work, personal and self. I made a list and checked it twice. No more naughty — I’m playing all nice (#BARS!). I was determined to show up for myself before the new year hit, already having a routine in place and a genuine motivation that drives me. For most of my life, my encouragement has come from wanting to please others, showing them how much I’ve changed, always wanting to be so much more for someone else so that they could feel better about me. Not anymore — I want to be the best person for myself. Period. And when I say that now, I really, really mean it. Oh, snap! Could this year actually be different? *Flips hair*
When I stopped looking at my past as something that was going to hold me back and started to see it for what it really was, my mission and motivation, it because just that. I am becoming the thriving version of that old survivor. I am becoming the woman I am destined to be because I am deciding to do so. No more victimization — I am not a victim. No more survivors remorse — I did all I could do with what I was given. Per Merriam Webster, I am now a Thriver, the person that will
: to grow vigorously : flourish
2: to gain in wealth or possessions : prosper
3: to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances —often used with on
No more are the days where I take what I can get. Now, we are confidently saying “No, thank you. I deserve more.” No longer are the days when I leave others & I’m feeling empty and drained, as if I gave too much of myself. Now are the days where I give myself my all, and everyone else gets whats runneth over. Not to be selfish but, if we all do this, we’ll be filled with self love in addition to, feeling genuine love from others. Once you’re done loving yourself, giving all to you, you realize you do not have the same amount of love to give to everyone, as you were once before. In my opinion, thats a good thing. Now we pick and choose who we are our love with more wisely. See how that comes full circle?
Thats why I am so grateful for this platform because, after me, I choose you all every time. There’s someone out there that doesn’t know you can love yourself and not be called selfish. It took me years, lots of trial and error, lots of failed attempts, to start to even grasp the idea of theres something more to this love thing than constantly giving. Theres a reason why no matter how much I give everyone else, its not coming back to me. So, if I could help someone process the Who, What, Where, Why and How’s — thats what Im here for. I wish I had someone to process with me or a place to go to see how it all turned out for them but, I didn’t. I was left feeling like I was crazy because I was struggling and going through life alone, battling and what seemed like, forever losing dual. I’m here to let you know, it can be different if you decide it’s going to be. It can be different if you realize it’s your choice. It can be different if you pour into yourself more than you pour into anyone else. If you show others how to love you by unconditionally and without any limits, loving … no truly loving, respecting and valuing yourself.
I challenge you all to take some time out this week, hopefully today, to write down your goals — career, (raise, new job, switch fields) personal life, (kids, marriage, more travels, stable family life) and lastly but most importantly, I challenge you to write down your self care goals (the ways you plan to show up for yourself, what you need out of life i.e. love, happiness, security, wealth). Whatever it is, write it all down and once you have everything written down in front of you, now the work begins.
If you are honest with yourself, you’ve just confronted your fears and inspirations. You have tangible reasonings why you need to push forward and you also have evidence of how you dropped the ball. With these goals, you have a starting point. Each journey is different for everyone so, I all I can say is … start. For me, I started with my self goals because its the foundation of your work and personal goals. Then, I just broke it down and figured out The Who, What, Where, Why and Hows. I’m tackling my goals. Tackling them every day until it’s checked off. Then I briefly and quietly take a minute to celebrate my accomplishments & then start at it all over again. Choose a task, Who What Where Why and How it, tackle, achieve, celebrate and move on. My plan for now is to keep this up until it’s a new way of life, or until God tells me different. Seems simple, “Duh, Staci. Write goals down. Work on them. Achieve and keep going. It really took you this long to figure it out?”
Yup. Sure did. We make life a lot more difficult than it has to be. So, this is one way I am simplfying my life is the most productive, motivational and heart strong way. Bring on 2018 — I won’t be defeated. I’ll do the defeating!
until next time,
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Black Puffer; T. J. Maxx, similar here